Time for some change

I have been doing some soul searching the past few weeks and have come to a conclusion that I don't like being around myself. I have allowed this "thing" to take up space in my heart far too long. I am grouchy, temperamental, critical, calloused and just plain mean if you cross me the wrong way (which I might add does not take much in my pregnant state). I see or smell total strangers and I find myself looking at them as if they are less than me. (By smell I mean the people who don't wear or forget to wear deodorant or smell like they have done nothing but sit in a smoke filled room and are content to smoke themselves into a slow stinky death) I used to have a whole lot more compassion and tolerance, but slowly I have allowed this grouch into my heart. I am not proud of this and it makes me sick when I realize what a rag I am being. So this week I have made an effort to start the change. Instead of yelling at crazy drivers or making a stink when I walk past someone who reeks of fried food and smoke, I remind myself that they are children of God too, and stop at that. I wish I could say how easy it is, but it is so hard to bite my tongue or bridal my thoughts. I am hoping with time it will get easier.